I 100000000% feel this, even and esp IRL in transfem spaces.
There’s this lack of consent culture that runs through the space that in my spicy take comes predominantly from white transfems, a type of navigating of dating/connection that favors the comfortability of white entities (and from that comes the assumed norm across the whole space) over others.
Regardless of origin, the result is… a culture that lowkey is centered on the erosion of boundaries, rather than an invitation to communicate and set them. (Edit: forgot the second part, erosion of boundaries of those less privileged, but servicing the boundaries of those more privileged. Classic thing that comes with living with unaddressed hierarchies)
…
I’m upfront about being a slut to others (stated more neutral matter-of-fact-ly), and also my interests in doing things with others… but I try my best to do so in ways that invite boundary communication and setting, precisely because, besides being acespec myself (aceflux), I of course care to not trample over the boundaries of fellow acespec creatures >:3 (wish IRL was more the norm to wear p much flagging lol)
Also fuck those that cling to hegemonic assumptions as reasons to not check and respect boundaries >:( some days I really really grind my teeth at the ways some transfem spaces really just have the worst high school girl clique vibes >:/ lowkey sorority hazing vibes…
@maplesyrup yeah, for me any serious flirting only comes after an extended consent/boundaries talk like bdsm style, kink communities usually have good protocols for this type of stuff since it requires lots of trust